Is self control something we have or do not have?
We all know someone who has strong self-discipline…the person who can set a goal and stick to it. They seem to be able to grind through any challenge they set for themselves. If this requires waking up at 5:00am every morning to train, a diet free of junk food, or not drinking alcohol for months on end, then they can commit to what ever it is…they seem to have this super power of incredible self-discipline.
For most of us though…we are meet with frustration…and even despair that we are not this kind of person.
We wonder why we can’t stick to our habits, or accomplish our goals, or follow our diet and exercise routine. We might feel like self-control is something we just aren’t able to do…we lucked out with self-discipline.
What if the problem isn’t self control? What if it was a mindset issue?…this is more likely the answer. People who seem to have the super power of self-discipline aren’t holding any secrets, there is no secret sauce…what they are holding though is a Growth Mindset. It isn’t self control, it is mindset.
Those that seem to have the ability of self control have a Growth Mindset.
The answer to a stronger presence of self control may well be the mindset we have…..are we in a Growth Mindset, or are we in a Fixed Mindset?
The Growth Mindset person has the view that we can learn, grow, and improve. They understand that there will be times where their self-control will fail, they don’t beat themselves up though, they see it as a learning opportunity.
The Fixed Mindset person thinks that self control is something you have or you do not have, it can’t be changed. Their thinking is that you are good at something or we are not. When things don’t go well and they seem to fail, the thought process is oh well, I tried but I am terrible at having self control.
We can change our thoughts and behavior however, mindset is very changeable.
We can learn and grow and improve and with this growth and change in mindset…we can learn that we can become better at anything.
A Growth Mindset will allow you to look at what you could have done differently to prevent so much self-control from being needed? What environmental or social factors influenced that action or decision? The answers can help you foresee future problems and build a system to prevent them.
Growth V Closed Mindset Diagram needed. Canva!!